Million Dollar Imbeciles

Are you watching "Million Dollar Listing" on Bravo? Can you believe the three Realtors they have chosen to follow? First up is Madison Hildebrand. Of the three he is by far the least offensive. A self-described 'polyamorous' he seems the most confident in himself and is, therefore, the closest one to a normal human being. Next is Josh Flagg. This guy makes douche bags look good. He is an arrogant, entitled little man who expects all who do business with him to discreetly genuflect. He shamelessly mines his ancient Grandmother for business opportunities yet does not show her the respect she deserves. Amazingly, the worst of the three is Chad Rogers. The (OK, his) universe revolves around Mr. Rogers. He dresses like my 13 year old niece, wears a hairstyle that shouldn't be allowed on anyone over the age of 12 and thinks he is the coolest guy on the block. What is he hiding under that hairdon't? What self-respecting 30 year old man goes around looking like that? He can't leave it alone - the man (yes, Chad, you are a man - accept it!) has some serious issues. Bless his heart.

Breaking news via email!

"White House Says Bush Unlikely To Attend RNC. The White House says President George W. Bush is unlikely to attend the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., on Monday because of Gustav concerns."

Is our fearless, lame-duck President concerned more about his personal safety (he is known to listen to flawed intelligence) or is he concerned about the safety of an area of our country that concerned him far less the last time a huge hurricane was predicted to hit? Bless his heart.

Green gets Gold and other Olympic Photos

With thanks to the UK's Guardian. Hope the Taiwanese team found the contact lens. Bless their hearts.

Olympics Before & After

The Olympic Opening Ceremony was, for the most part, quite a spectacle. The creativity and the scale of the event was truly memorable. So what happened to the Closing Ceremony? The same man, Zhang Yimou, designed both ceremonies yet the first was a masterpiece and the second an embarrassment. And I still don't understand why they needed the two wheels of cheese. Perhaps it was a nod to the old English tradition of chasing a wheel of cheese down a hill. Bless their industrious Chinese hearts.

Sometimes Good Genes Aren't Enough

That's why God made plastic surgery. Bless her heart.

A New Reality for April Dowling

Well Miss April you have been unceremoniously dismissed from the Big Brother house. Despite being the most unpopular player in the game you seem to think that America loves you. I am sorry to inform you sweetie that America does not love your pelt-your-Down-Syndrome-nephew with-balls-to-make-him-tough, ask-everyone-on-day-1-to-feel-you-up, have-sex-again-and-again-with-the-first-willing-guy ways. Not one bit. I look forward with glee to your watching the look on your showmance's face when you say you are the fairest of them all. My greatest joy, however, is reserved for when you discover that no one is interested in buying what you're selling: the April and Ollie reality show. Nobody cares how your showmance 'progresses' in the world outside of the Big Brother house. I am wagering that your relationship ends shortly after your new reality sets in. Bless your heart.